i remember when i was a child staying in bed instead of going to school,
little bored or half asleep, sounds from outside came through a window.
among others, calling of a pigeon came into my ears.
i hate it, especially in the city, its monotonic unclearness in the tone and how it ends
in the middle of nowhere.
i breathed with the sound, counting its calls until it stops,
the end gave me a bad after taste that is difficult to digest.
i tried to erase the calling of pigeon from my ears.
try to concentrate on something else, say sound of my breathe,
but still the pigeon was there in the background, and the sound of car from the street,
suddenly, my ears got defocused in a strange way, that i heard all sorts of sounds
as one. calling of pigeon, cars passing by wind, my breathe or the subtle noise
which my bed cover makes, afar or near, there was no difference in distance, all became one sound. nothing could be separated, and I was a part of the whole.
this came to my mind many years later when I wrote thesis about `small sounds´.